Advice
by Lenea89
Summary: Kaka/Iru, 'Sasu/Naru'. Kakashi and Iruka’s perfectly perverted night is interrupted by a certain loud mouth teen. Naruto doesn’t want to be the girl so he has to find Sasuke. Luckily his two favorite senseis are there to give him some advice


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**~ADVICE~**

**~Summery~**

**Kakashi and Iruka's perfectly perverted night is interrupted by a certain loud mouth teen. Naruto doesn't want to be the girl so he has to find Sasuke. Luckily his two favorite senseis are there to give him some advice. **

**A pointless little perverted fic I wrote to try to work up the nerve to write smutt. **

**~Rating~**

**T for sexual themes references and kissing and such.**

**~Warnings~**

**Possible OOC-ness **

**Yaoi, Male/Male love, Sexual references cursing and a perverted jounin.**

**~Disclaimer~**

**There's no yaoi in Naruto, so do you really think a yaoi fangirl would own it and not include some Kaka/Iru love?**

**NO**

**So I don't own Naruto or it's characters. The lucky Masashi Kishimoto does. **

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Iruka sat at his dark wooden desk as his eyes scanned over the last of tonight's grading. With one final stroke of the red pen he sighed. "Finished…"

"Finally!" Kakashi leapt up from the window and charged towards his tan lover. He quickly pulled down his mask and captured the younger man's lips. Kakashi slipped his tongue in as the chunin gasped in surprise. After tasting the warm cavern of Iruka's mouth Kakashi pulled back to slowly Kiss down the man's jaw line to his sensitive neck.

"Impatiant Jounin…" Iruka sighed. And the jounin pulled back to look at his lover's face.

"Well you won't let me ravish you 'til you're done grading! How can I not be impatient! And you wouldn't even let me help." The jounin's pout shone bright without the mask hiding his handsome face.

"Cause last time you graded one of my assignments you said… what was it again?"

Kakashi tilted his head as if to think, "um… I think I wrote, 'This is the worst thing I've ever read, you have no right to a ninja in training and far less right to be in ruka-chan's class. Try writing porn… it's easier, you don't have to have a concise plot.'. "

"And that's why! you + grading= Perverted, rude, Relationship revealingness and just plain BADNESS! And you wrote it where I couldn't mark it out without covering up his answers! I had to tell him I lost his paper…" Iruka grumbled as he folded his arms over his chest.

"But Ruka… It was true… and he did do better the second time…" Kakashi's unmasked face was in full on pout mode.

Iruka smiled lightly… "yeah… In retrospect you probably kept him from utterly failing the assignment."

Kakashi smirked, "See! Maybe that was my plan all along…" Kakashi could have planned it out, he was a genius, but somehow Iruka just KNEW that he didn't'.

"I doubt it Kashi…" Iruka murmured with a roll of his chocolate eyes.

"Well… It worked out well though." Kakashi kissed the chunin with smirking lips.

"Ne, Kakashi, before you, 'Ravish me'" Iruka rolled his eyes at the term, not that he didn't like the idea of course. "There a few points you need to answer…"

"Is this a test Sensei?" Kakashi chuckled.

Iruka rolled his eyes and continued "We need to A, Leave the academy, B, get something to eat since neither one of us has had dinner, and C, find somewhere private…" Kakashi placed his finger over the sensei's lips to quiet the younger man.

"And I have all those things planned, A, though it would be very hot to take the sexiest teacher in Konoha over his desk, I know I would get killed by said hot teacher. B, Ramen at Ichirakus. C, we go to my house, which is off in the middle of the woods, can't get much more private than that. And D, I screw you into the mattress with all the love in my heart…" Kakashi leered playfully.

"I never said anything about point a point D." Iruka grumbled as he grabbed his messenger bag and began to pack.

"Maa, Just going for some extra credit, Sensei, besides, I think you'll like point D, after all I pulled an all-nighter to prepare." Kakashi smiled his eye arching up, his mask unable at the moment to hide the Jounin's perfectly white straight teeth.

"Cause your just such a good student." Iruka rolled his eyes yet again.

"Yes."

"Egotist."

"No, I have a good teacher to do naughty things with so I study… I read my little orange text book all day!" Kakashi chuckled pulling up his mask as the two prepared to leave. Iruka's eyebrow distinctively twithched. "I just wanna please my sensei!"

"We're not doing the teacher/student fantasy! Since I am a teacher it's kind of weird…" In two seconds the two were walking side by side down the deserted academy hall way.

"Ah… Ruka-Sensei…You're a hot teacher though… and I promise to be a good student." Iruka looked up to face the infamous puppy face… and Kakashi, having spent his whole life with dogs, could do that look better than any one.

Iruka blushed, and said in a weak voice, "fine…" Iruka was furious on the inside. How easily the copy nin could get his way with that look! For god sake! Iruka can resist thirty 7 year olds using that damn look without breaking a sweat, but would always crumble under Kakashi's puppy pout! Damn jounin.

"Thank you sensei!" Kakashi whispered in a husky voice as he pulled the smaller man into a warm hug and planted a masked kiss on the man's cheek. "You do know I love you ne?"

Iruka smiled letting the warmth of Kakashi surround him, "I love you too."

In a matter of minutes the two were sitting at Ichirakus,

"What can I get you today Kakahsi-Kun? Oh and Iruka-Sensei as well…" Ayame smiled blindingly at Kakashi. Poor girl didn't even feel the killing intent rolling off of Iruka.

Kakashi smiled his eye arching up, "I'll have some miso ramen please."

Iruka glared at Ayame before answering, "Chicken please. Thank you!" He answered with faux cheerfulness.

"Of course Kakashi-kun,"

Something told Iruka that Ayame didn't even notice him. She was far o busy staring at Kakashi to notice a mere chunin, no matter how much of his killing aura was washing over the girl.

"I was actually wondering, Kakashi-Kun, do you think you might like to walk me home? I'm getting off in a few minutes and I really wanted to speak with you more… privately…" Ayame was smiling flirtatiously.

Oh how Iruka could see it now. Her face when she realized she hit on the wrong man tonight! How would he do it? String her up with a sign that read, "I'm a whore!" or maybe one that said, "I try to steal people's boyfriends" Hire a certain perverted sanin to follow her for a day asking her out repetitively? Set a trap that would leave her covered in shaving cream? Henge into Kakashi and dump her ass cruelly? Trap her in a genjutsu where she's alone with one thousand babbling kittens? Tie her to the training stumps like Naruto once was? Or maybe she would get the message if he dropped her off the stone faces.

Iruka was almost shocked and ashamed at how dark his last thought was…

Almost.

What could he say? He was protective of his Kashi.

"Ayame please come back here! I need help. I seem to have lost that damn parsley again." Tenuchi yelled.

"Oh um… coming…" She stole one more glance at the silver haired jounin, IRUKA'S Silver Haired Jounin, before running to the back of the small shack.

Kakashi placed his hand over Iruka's, which was currently trying to pry the counter-top off. "No killing Civilians love, No killing civilians."

"I don't know what you're talking about Kakashi…" Iruka suddenly found the wall very interesting as he stared at it.

"What did you want to do to her?"

Iruka turned back to his lover and smiled. "Everything from stringing her up to something about babbling kittens to plain murder…" Iruka admitted reproachfully.

Kakashi chuckled and smirked, "Love you to, Ruru."

Luckily for Ayame her father served the actual Ramen.

Kakashi inhaled his food as usual and decided to spend the time watching his lover eat. Iruka was an interesting eater. Kakashi noticed bemusedly as the tan dolphin sucked the noodles up he had a tendency for his head to bob down to meet the noodles then bob up to take more then down again to take more noodles in… Is it weird that the copy nin found that the way Iruka ate was erotic?

Probably.

Lucky the man had a good reputation as a pervert or people might think he was just weird.

"You know you're just plain sexy when you eat."

"tank joo Dashi…' Iruka said through a mouth of noodles.

"Of course noodles are great… but I like seeing you suck on something else…"

Iruka choked and blushed. "Kashi!"

"What? It's true…" The pervert leaned in and planted a chaste, masked, kiss upon the other man's lips. He lifted his right hand to pull his famous mask down with all the intentions for the next kiss to not be so chaste. His left hand was echoing that sentiment as it found it's way to Iruka's inner thigh. However, his plans for molestation were foiled when a pair of tan hands stilled his movements.

"Kakashi…" Irkua whined. "You can't do that…"

"Why not love?" Kakashi challenged, Secrets be damned! He wanted his chunin and wanted every one to know Iruka was his and he was Iruka's.

"IRUKA-SENSEI! KAKA-SENSEI!" The pair heard the scream a mere second before the flap lifterd to reveal the blonde owner of the boisterous yell.

Iruka sighed. "Not exactly appropriate for public…" Iruka finished sadly.

"Well we can always finish in private…" Kakashi leered at his chunin.

"HAVE EITHER OF YOU SEEN SASUKE-TEME?" Naruto was still yelling much to Kakashi's ears protest.

Iruka gave a kind smile, though to Kakashi's ever watchful eye, he saw the disappointment in his face. "Sorry Naruto, why are you looking for him?" Iruka asked stiffly.

"THAT JERK!" Naruto huffed.

At this point Kakashi was surprised, Naruto hadn't even begged for them to treat him to ramen yet.

"HE SAID I WAS GOING TO BE THE GIRL!"

Iruka sputtered, "The girl?"

Kakashi laughed, "The girl!!!"

Iruka looked like he just swallowed something nasty. Where as Kakashi's eye shone with mischievous. "So when did this happen?" the scarecrow asked bemusedly.

"Na-Naruto…. I didn't know you and Sasuke were…." Iruka couldn't even bring himself to think of the blonde who had become like a son to him dating let alone having SEX!

Of course the boy was of the right age, and the boy was a pervert in training, Iruka couldn't help but see a mischievous but still innocent child before him. "Since…when?" He asked as an after thought.

Naruto was still fuming "Since today… but of course that idiot Uchiha can't be the girl, NO! He just expects me to! I should shove a rasangan where the sun don't shine!"

Kakashi's eye was positively sparkling with teasing intent.

Iruka's mouth opened and closed but he couldn't get a single word to form. Iruka felt literally like a fish out of water.

"T-To-" Iruka took a deep breath and steadied his nerves. "Only since today? you shouldn't be so worried about… who's the girl yet…"

"Baa-Chan said we had to decide by the end of the day though! And that stupid arrogant bastard won't even consider being the girl! He thinks he's too good. Last of the Uchihas prodigy bastard! He said since I know Sexy Jutsu it just 'makes sense!' BASTARD, BASTARD, BASTARD!"

"The hokage! What does she have to do with this?" Iruka asked with shock.

Kakashi smiled and finally spoke, "You could always flip a coin. Or take turns…"

"DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM!" Iruka snapped. "They're way too young to… to…"

"Do what we do?" Kakashi leered as his left hand again strayed to the chunins thigh.

Iruka flushed scarlet. "You shouldn't talk of such things in public!"

Kakashi and Iruka's relationship was supposed to be a secret but they had told those close to them namely Naruto, Sakura, and Sauske. Any one else who knew figured it out after they caught the two making out or worse… Poor Gai would never use his Dynamic Entry again. Plus, with the enemies Kakashi had, and the fact that if it got around too much Iruka would have to deal with angry prejudice parents, keeping their relationship a secret was a good Idea. Even if both men hated hiding it.

Luckily the only ones who knew currently, knew the couple, and supported them.

"No ones around to here it though Koi." Kakashi smiled lecherously.

"STOP LEERING AT IRUKA-SENSEI SND HELP ME FIND THAT BASTARD!" Natuto yelled.

Kakashi decided to speak again, only with more mirth. "I can leer At Iruka like you leer as Sasuke!"

Naruto blushed, and Kakashi continued, "I figured you two would be soo cute together! But you have to remember,"

Iruka had a feeling where his perverted lover was going and immediately wanted to cover the 17 year olds' ears.

"Sex is something that two people in love share and it shouldn't matter who's the girl. A relationship is give and take. And, on a side note, a relationship is just like a mission in the respect that it needs trust and teamwork to survive" Kakashi smiled.

"Also," The copy nin continued his warnings, "It's not a race, and certainly not a competition. And if you do have sex then make sure you're both ready and be careful not to hurt each other… well unless you're in to that… but still you need to remember to be safe. And try to be understanding. And if you two really are having that much trouble deciding who is 'the girl'. Which is a bad term by the way, I prefer uke!" Kakashi smiled with arched eyes as he held Iruka's hand tightly. "And if you two aren't willing to compromise or bend on the issue, then you aren't ready for an intimate relationship." Kakashi looked hard at the blonde.

Naruto stared back in blank shock.

Iruka just stared at the silver haired nin who suddenly seemed wiser than ever, he expected the man to try to give sex tips like which positions to try! He expected Kakashi to give Naruto a talk that would result in him blushing like a maniac not staring in shock. The last thing Iruka had expected of his perverted lover was to give the boy relationship advice, good advice even.

Iruka felt the familiar arm feeling spread over his heart. He was reminded of another reason he loved Kakashi. Kakashi might act aloof to so many, he may seem anti-social, he may be the biggest pervert ever, he definitely likes to tease people too much, and he may even have an infuriating way of getting his way, but he cares about those close to him. He would never want Naruto our Sasuke to end up hurting each other's feelings over something so trivial.

'_Kakashi, I think I'm loosing count of how many reason's I love you…'_ Iruka thought with a sigh

Naruto was still staring at his former jounin-instructor. Naruto's mouth opened then closed, he now looked like a fish out of water.

"WHAT!" Naruto looked like he was going to be sick. "What does SEX and RELATIONSHIPS have to do with HENGING into a girl for a mission?"

As Kakashi's laugh rang out, Iruka fell over.

"There goes some perfectly good advice wasted!"


End file.
